[The BINGO-1 crowd is ready for action as BINGO HALL is packed to the rafters after the incredible: BINGO-1: QUEST FOR ONE -Part One!]
The BINGOtron flashes to life.
Johnny Bingo in full business gear is shown entering a mysterious building.
He walks down a long hallway- into a huge office.
He approaches a massive oak desk- he's speaking, but there is no audio.
A figure reclining in a leather office chair turns to face him.
He is masked and in a full business suit.
He seems pleased to see Johnny Bingo.
The two shake hands and Johnny is offered a seat.
Johnny speaks emphatically and the mystery man listens patiently, but whatever Johnny Bingo has asked- the masked man shakes his head 'no'.
Johnny Bingo seems disappointed, but gets up to leave.
He turns and heads for the door.
The masked man stops him and hands him a small package.
It's cardboard and with a red 'D' emblazoned on the top.
Johnny Bingo seems pleased and the two shake hands again.
The BINGO-1 logo flashes in and out as the entrance music hits for the opening bout!
[BINGO-1 superstar crIs- having suffered a tremendous beating at the last show, with both Sam Bastard and HOCK targeting his head and neck, now has a chance at a measure of revenge as he takes on the mentally unbalanced HOCK. It should be mentioned that despite being injured at the last event, crIs's partner HÅNK insisted he have this match tonight. "-To teach crIs how to be HÅNK."]
BINGO HALL 6-15-07 658 paid attendance (near capacity)
[Johnny Bingo: Living legend of e-wrestling makes his way down to the ring in suit coat and slacks to loud applause. Chants of "B-I-N-G-O!! B-I-N-G-O!!!" turn to louder chants of "Thank-You-BIN-GO! (clap-clap-clapclapclap) Thank-You-BIN-GO! (clap-clap-clapclapclap) Bingo nods his appreciation, deeply touched by the reaction. He calls for a mic, the music stops and he waits for the crowd to settle.]
"Thank you." he begins
[applause]
BINGO:"I'd like to welcome you all to BINGO-1!"
[applause]
"I've been in this for going on 30 years, and tonight is the debut of many of my students who I hope will carry on the Bingo tradition for many years to come. We have thrilling action, hard drama, and -hopefully- an entertaining night ahead of us. I'd like to announce that the card posted on the billboards and fliers and on the websites- has changed. Contract disputes and... OTHER factors have limited our roster somewhat but I have called in some talent that I think you'll find FAR better than that which is unavailable. The network has assured me that their representative is on the way and that all will be sorted out prompt and with all due resolve. So without further talk from me, I'd like to start things off right..."
[murmurs]
"-and that means COUNTDOWN!"
[cheers] "-3! -2! -1! BINGO-
-?!
[It's LRI! Stuart Robinson and VD Dod! The premiere tag team of the independent circuit has just crashed the BINGO-1 party!]
Stuart: "Booolllllllllooooocks!"
[boos]
"Bollocks to you, Bingo -you great git! If you think you can just expect to run in here and start things up without a match wi' the greatest team in the history of the world, you're about as balmy as I'd figured you'd be. I've waited my whole life to take a run at you an' I mean to. An' if you're scared to face me man te' man- make it a tag with you and one of your pets you 'ave back there, Bingo. You just make that match!"
[boos]
[Johnny Bingo take a moment and responds...]
BINGO:"I know you. I remember you from years ago, at my arcade- scrawny little bully you were and when I caught you tryin' to break into my change locker I turned you out, boy. An' it seems to me a rat you were and a rat you are and if it takes one more go to put you out. You 'ave it, boy. You 'ave it."
[cheers]
"I was going to take my top man to task in the main event, boy. -but now I think it's US that'll take YOU in the main event!"
[cheers]
STUART: "So it's a tag then, old man?"
BINGO: "Damn right, boy."
STUART: "Say it then, by your word- you take on LRI?"
BINGO: "The main event tonight is Me and my man TAX vs. LRI!"
[applause/cheers]
STUART: "-and no interference or involvement from ANYONE else in BINGO-1?"
BINGO: "None, boy. Not a one."
STUART: "I'm glad to hear that Johnny, and I know how much you NEED to be bound by your word. I know how much tha' MEANS to ye. An' I know you've never broken it, an' I know ye mean to keep it... me old son..."
[Stuart has an odd smirk on his face. Bingo is just about to tell him where to stick it, when-]
[JACK DOD! Former UWH champion! Current Spunk Pro champion! What is he doing here?!] [supised cheers and boos]
[Jack takes a hard look at the wary Bingo.]
JACK: " As the song goes: 'Johnny, remember me?' Remember the guy you SCREWED out of a championship? -do you? It case you did forget- the answer is ME! -and right now you are looking at are the 3 current and offical members of L...R..I.."
[shock to both crowd and Bingo]
JACK: "-what? what does he mean? how can this be? you could do the easy thing and just take my word for it, johnny my fine old gentleman- or you could take the time to check the certified roster sent by the network itself. The network which you are bound to obey by terms of your contract- has listed LRI on page 3 of those in negotiations for TV contracts- and the names listed are Stuart Robinson, Victor Dod and JACK...Dod.
[crowd jeers at the lame tricks (and or plot device) and just because they (unsurprisingly) don't like Jack.]
JACK: "Apart form that- you did say- on camera and in front of all these people what the main event tonight would be.. and we all know about the LEGENDARY word of Johnny Bingo- I mean if you want to go and break tradition and your word and your contract you can..."
[Jack trails off as a commotion and a chant has started in the crowd to his left. A gradually louder "kick his ass Twin-ky, kick his ass!" and just a plain old "kick his ass!" chant a bit louder. E-wres superstar Twinky McClanahan is seen seated front row just as any other fan might be! He smiles and shakes his head at the encouragement of the fans to 'jump the rail' and step in. (Which would not be hard as BINGO HALL has no real 'rails' on the outside) Jack spots his most hated rival in the crowd and hops right off the ramp.]
JACK: "Well well well.... I am surprised to see YOU here...."
[Twinky stays in his seat while the fans around him have at Jack Dod verbally. ]
"-So... how's being a loser been treating you?"
[Twinky does his best to ignore him, looking away and smiling him off.]
"-I'm TALKING TO YOU!"
[Jack shoves the side of Twinky's head, rocking him into the fat guy sitting next to him. Twinky bolts right up and into Jacks face.]
"-Now that I have your ATTENTION. I want you OUT of this arena. I want you OUT of the county, and I want you out of the state! [from the crowd: "we're in England, arsehole!"] Don't think I don't know that you're her as insurance for Bingo..."
[Jack motions turns around towards the ring]
"-and don't thin that I'd let you go... without THIS!"
[Jack lunges right into Twinky sending them both backwards into the BINGO-1 fans! (mostly into the single fat guy next to Twinky. Oh how the snackfood did fly.) As Jack made his lunge Stuart and VD made a dash at BINGO and it was BINGO BEDLAM! LRI took it straight to Johnny Bingo first with a straight mugging- with VD tearing off his jacket, then holding him back for Stuart to pummel! Twinky and Jack Dod buffeted around in a clench, fists just pistoning each a the other!!!]
[BINGO-1 alumni TAX rushes out from the back, half dressed and with a folding chair. He scares Los Rudos Infernos off of Johnny Bingo, and by then BINGO-1 staff have separated Jack and Twinky and removed them from the crowd. Twinky rolls into the ring as Jack Dod and LRI make their way around the rear exits, taunting Bingo and the fans. Johnny Bingo grabs a mic and stands on the second turnbuckle in a fury.]
BINGO: "You think you're so smart, well you've got it, chummy! You'll face TAX an' me in the main event tonight!"
[Johnny climbs down the buckle and towards Twinky. Johnny Bingo holds out his hand. Twinky takes a moment to look at the crowd who about cheer their heads off before shaking his hand.]
BINGO: "-and with our partner TWINKY McLanahan!"
[The crowd erupts and Johnny Bingo rushes over halfway out of the ropes to scream..]
"IN A HIGHBURY DEATHMATCH!!!!!!"
[The crowd erupts again as Stuart and VD nod warily and Jack reacts with his usual aplomb. And so the new main event is set as the ring area settles and clears for what promises to be one hell of a opening bout!]
[Our first match features two great competitors and two bitter rivals -all in the same match and all in the same two men! El Justiciero: Noble defender of law and order vs. Malo G a rudo that cares nothing for no-one!]
#1>El Justiciero vs Malo G
[The next match up features four of the tag team elite of BINGO-1. Dan Hanson and Bruiser Brady are looking to make their mark in BINGO-1 early! They had this to say earlier today: (Brady and Hanson stand together in front of the BINGO-1 backdrop. Hanson stands wearing a cowboy hat and chaps with about a pound on black chaw in his cheek and dribbling out of his mouth.)
HANSON: "BINGO-1! BINGO-1! Tonight BINGO-1 you are going to see just how bad Dan Hanson can be! I'm gonna smash in faces! I'm gonna knock off heads and I'm gonna show the world how easy it really is! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"]
#2>Dan Hanson-Bruiser Brady vs. Motor Momota-Sonny Siguri
[The next match involves two of the more UNIQUE competitors in BINGO-1. The Crusher is a wrestler who looks back to the past hoping to pave the way for a better future, while Spaceship Yamato is OF THE FUTURE ITSELF. Can Crusher crash Spaceship Yamato? Or will Yamato prove that the future is now?]
#3>The Crusher vs Spaceship Yamato
[Immediately following the match, as Crusher and Yamato shake hands in a showing of mutual respect and admiration- SOMEONE JUMPS INTO THE RING! The man simply assaults both Crusher and Yamato dealing out some brutally hard kick and punch combinations, then dumping both wrestlers out of the ring! The crowd is shocked by this sudden turn and the sheer fierceness of the onslaught! The man jumps to the outside and grabs the announcers mic!
MAN: "What was that? what was that pathetic excuse for combat? Who would find that 'entertaining'? Who would do such a thing? [crowd boos] I ask you who and this is what you say to me? 'boo? boo?' You are all nothing! My name -is Marko Crocop! I am SMART fighting world number one champion top fighter! You think it is some game in the ring? You think they are here to amuse you? You think I am here to amuse you? I am not here to amuse you! I am here to stop THIS [waves hand at the ring] from ever being seen AGAIN!"
[The crowd lets him really have it that time.
As Marko storms out of the arena the BINGOtron lights up. It shows a scrawny-ish man with sunglasses and a purple bandanna.
MAN: "Baby oh baby- the three letters that spell sweeeet relief are: P- P- P!! I'm here in the locker room scouting out just who gets the chance to take a chance and dance with the true true king of all romance- P- P- P... which is me- me- me!!"
[PPP pushes in the door to show a masked man sitting, taping up his hands. It is wrestling journeyman, former EFW star and veteran of many tournaments and federations: The Incredible Ohdie. PPP shoves in and looks around.]
PPP: "Hey there, Mr. Pink- I'm looking for a fella whose name starts with 'O' and ends with a 'Oh no, he's facing the man himself-P- P- P-!!"
[PPP points to himself with his thumbs as Ohdie sighs and stands up.]
OHDIE: "Look, I'm not in the mood for this, ok?"
[PPP darkens immediately, shockingly]
PPP: "Oh, you wanna shoot? OK -jerkoff!"
[PPP shoves Ohdie HARD. Ohdie reels back but keeps his feet and doesn't back down.]
PPP: "Here's how it's gonna be. I'm going to kick -your-ass. In fact, Not only am I going to kick your ass once... I'm going to do it TWICE. 2 out of 3 falls. 0 for you and 2 for P- P- P!!"
[Ohdie gets in PPP's face]
OHDIE: "Yeah? I guess we'll just have to see- see- see!"
[Ohdie shoves PPP and walks off. PPP wipes down his shirt and rubs his hands together.]
PPP: "Time to give THIS crowd a taste of the PIEMAN!"]
#4>PPP vs The Incredible Ohdie
[The BINGOtron flashes to life again and shows the BINGO backdrop once more. BINGO-1 lead interviewer Bob Dobs stands with two very nordic looking individuals.
DOBS: "Hello BINGO-1, this is Bob Dobs and I'm standing here with Hank and Cris -the Finnish tag team that tonight hopes to defeat the formidable team of Sam Bastard and Hock!"
[HÅNK shakes his head.] HÅNK: "You do not know my name."
DOBS: "...Hank." HÅNK: "No! Not Hank. HÅNK."
DOBS: "....Honke." HÅNK: "HÅNK."
DOBS: "...Halnk." HÅNK: "Move the lips when you say- HÅNK."
DOBS: "... Haenche." HÅNK: "Stupid man. Cannot say HÅNK. So you cannot know HÅNK. -but now, now you SEEHÅNK."
[HÅNK looks into the camera.] HÅNK: "You will ALL see HÅNK."
[crIs pipes up from behind him.]
crIs: "...and crIs!"
[HÅNK turns around to scowl at crIs before both of them head off. Bob Dobs shrugs.]
#5> Sam Bastard-Tommy Hock vs HÅNK-crIs
[The reputation of two of the most dangerous men in wrestling remains in tact -as crIs is helped to the back by BINGO-1 staff. (HÅNK having left for the back by himself almost before the match was over.) The Intermission is announced and the crowd begins to mill about, checking out the merchandise booths and using the lavatories. 10 minutes into the intermission music blares over the BINGO Arena:
Two men make their way down the BINGO-1 ramp. One of smallish size in a stylish shirt and black pants, the other an absolute MOUNTAIN of a man in a singlet and a vest. They take their time getting down to the ring before the small one calls for a microphone. The music lowers in volume and eventually fades out.]
MAN: "Ladies and GENTLEMEN. BINGO-1 is proud to present to you, the greatest spectacle in the history of professional wrestling! THE most dynamic duo in known sporting HISTORY! And the future of BINGO-1... Stevie Cool and BIG BEN: EGO Incorporated."
[The crowd doesn't know what to make of things. Some keep milling about, others find their seats.]
COOL: "I can see that your eyes are not enough to convince you all, but how can you doubt? Look at this man."
[Stevie Cool motions towards Big Ben- who strikes a bit of a pose. At least as much as a 500 pound 7 foot tall man CAN.]
"Do you see, can't you see, that what is before you is less like a man and more akin to.. dare I say.. a god? I invite anyone in the crowd... anyone at all to step into this ring right now. Please, please step into the ring. Come and experience first-hand: BIG BEN. "
[A nondescript guy is picked and enters the ring. Cool asks him to attempt to pick Big Ben up. He can't. Cool asks him to try to move Big Ben. Push against him and make him step back. He can't. Cool asks the guy what his name is. The man says his name is Mike. Stevie Cool smiles and calls Mike a pussy, then tells him to get his weak filth out of the ring. Mike grabs Cool. Stevie yells 'Assault! I am assaulted!' Big Ben grabs Mike. Mike gets thrown down and Big Ben jumps on Mike crushing him with a giant splash. Mike doesn't move. Big Ben gets up as Stevie Cool laughs and jumps around.]
COOL: "BINGO-1 is hereby EGO inc. enforced! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
[The music hits again and the two man corporation make their way out of the ring (as Mr. Mike is helped out by BINGO-1 staff, and given two free tickets and a BINGO-1 t-shirt. He was glad to get them.)]
["The Critical Kid" Randy Scrimps lives up to his name, Mr. Pants and HeMano fell the wrath of the 'reich, and the Quest for one tournament has been made more... 'interesting'?
The BINGOtron flickers to life once more to show another two men one masked and in white, the other unmasked and black. The black man speaks first.
MAN: "Look JD, I know these thug nugguhs. I know what they can do, and I know that they are about as dirty as my filthy, filthy mama."
JD: "Wow. That's filthy, DF."
DF: "Don't I know it. (puts his arm around JD) Now... I know you're retarded in your own special way and all..."
JD: "Don't I know it..."
DF: "Yeah, but tonight I need you not to just... be yourself too much."
JD: "I can't take Louis with me, can I?"
DF: "... I know I don't want to know, but we're up next. -Who's Louis?"
[JD holds up a gigantic stuffed alligator.]
JD: "His friends call him Louis, but he was born Louise.(talking out of the side of his mouth) This is just between you and me, you know.. >wink wink< -and you didn't hear it from me. Ix-nay on the ansgender-tray."
DF: "..... you can't bring Louis." \
JD: "Fair enough."
DF: "You ready?"
JD: "I feel ready."
DF: "You look ready."
JD: "I'm ready!"
DF: "You feel strong?"
JD: "I feel strong." (puffs up)
DF: "You look.... good. You look good."
JD: "...." DF: " -Now lets get 'em!"
[JD runs out with a 'raaah!' DF walks behind him.]
#7>JD Delphin-DF Allen vs Raz and Duz Busch
[The BINGOtron flashes to life again this time to show Twinky McLanahan taping up his hands. He has not tights with him, as he was drafted on the spot- so shirtless with his black jeans is how he'll have to be for his match. Twinky bashes his hands together as he mentally prepares for what is proving to be a much more grueling night than watching his sister Jenny wrestle. Johnny Bingo enters the frame in full gear getting a big pop from the crowd.]
BINGO: "Twinky."
TWINKY: "Yeah, John?"
BINGO: "Thanks for what you're doing tonight."
TWINKY: "Don't mention it. I get to bash Dod heads and help out a friend."
BINGO: "This match might get real ugly, you know."
TWINKY: "What match can't?"
BINGO: "Still Highbury rules is a deathly deathmatch. There's a good chance the match won't even end.. just stop."
TWINKY: "....?"
BINGO: "The ring explodes, Twinky. The posts are full of explosive charge and the barbed wire ropes are electrified.... I haven't even cleared it with the fire department. This could get bad. I don't want anyone seriously hurt. (Bingo turns away) -and I don't want the crowd to feel... let down."
TWINKY: "-Well, I don't know about-"
BINGO: "I'm OLD, Twinky...."
TWINKY: ".....?!"
BINGO: "......I've talked it over with the ladies, their match will be for the BINGO Women's Championship. We'll give the audience that, at least- then give them the option to leave..."
TWINKY: ".....John, I-"
BINGO: (turns back to face Twinky) "Go wish Jenny luck, Twinky. I'll be fine, you just work on keeping yourself out of trouble."
[Johnny Bingo walks off leaving Twinky in stunned silence.]
#8>Jenny Mclanahan vs Tiger Girl 2
[Immediately after the womens title bout, BINGO-1 staff get to work around the arena. Brining out barriers for the crowd, dismantling the ropes, stringing up barbed wired and the small detonators between them. The announcement goes over the P.A. that the audience is advised to stay aware and stay clear of all proceedings at their own risk. The BINGO-1 ramp will be retracted and all audience members must be aware of the nearest exit in case of an emergency. As staff ready the ringposts and set the charges around the ring. The BINGOtron lights up again. Johnny Bingo, Twinky McLanahan and TAX stand ready for their match.]
BINGO: "Are we ready boys?"
[Twinky and TAX nod.]
BINGO: "Do me a favor and be careful out there, right?"
[Twinky and TAX nod again.]
BINGO: "Now...Let's get these sods off my show."
[Twinky and TAX smile as the follow Johnny Bingo to the ring.]
#9>The Main Event pt.1
[The arena is carnage. TAX and VD are just about blown out of the ring and land nearly unresponsive on the floor. The smoke is almost impossible to see through, let alone breathe. Stuart's face is a crimson mask and he staggers to the crowd swinging at anyone that gets near him, until he drops off and is carried away. Twinky is covered in blood and appears to have been blinded. Jack Dod had definitely thrown something into Twinky's face during the match, before the fireball hit him -igniting it. The smart money would be on something flammable and/or caustic. "It f'ing BURNS!" The smoke begins to clear, but only just- Sandy Duncan(the referee- in her special riot gear and all) is apparently unconscious as well and is carried off on a sling. The crowd gags and chokes and tries to make out what's happening in the smoky fog. The staff turns on the ventilation system and that gets the smoke moving and dissipating. .....JOHNNY BINGO IS STILL IN THE RING! He's staggering, but still in the ring and on his feet! We have a winner! We have Johnny BINGO on his feet in the ring! He is dazed but still walking! ...It's Jack Dod! On the outside, it's JACK DOD! Jack Dod is on his feet and looking like hell. Jack tears his shirt off and picks up a -long pipe? He runs over to the far side of the ring where Johnny Bingo is trying to climb through the wire... HE CRACKS BINGO IN THE HEAD WITH THE PIPE!! Johnny Bingo slumps into the barbed wire knocked loopy! Jack Dod is in the ring! pt.2
[Holy MOSES! He's done it! He has DONE IT! Johnny Bingo is down. Jack Dod is down and he is OUT. The audience is on their feet! BINGO-1 staff flood into the ring! The fans are pushing their way to ringside! Jack Dod is being carried out of the ring as Johnny Bingo is being helped to his feet! The chant's of B-I-N-G-O!!! B-I-N-G-O!! -are almost deafening!!! This is BINGO-1!!!!
